


Delaying the Inevitable

by darkling2222



Category: Split (2016), Split - Fandom
Genre: Dissociative Identity Disorder, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-24
Updated: 2017-02-24
Packaged: 2018-09-26 14:53:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,488
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9907481
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darkling2222/pseuds/darkling2222
Summary: It's September 18th, 2014 and the boy on the train is hyperventilating.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Fade To Black](https://archiveofourown.org/works/9633131) by [brainwavesoptional](https://archiveofourown.org/users/brainwavesoptional/pseuds/brainwavesoptional). 



The boy next to her on the train is hyperventilating. He had been nervously wringing his hands the whole ride and at first, he had tried to keep his nerves inconspicuous but now his chest is heaving. He grips the arm rests with white knuckles, breathing fast and labored. She looks at him shyly out of the corner of her eye, trying not to stare. 

Usually one of the others would have taken over long before they’d gotten to this point but they’d all promised Dr. Fletcher that they’d give Kevin a chance to handle things on his own. However, none of them had anticipated a call from their mother demanding them to come back to Boston. They others keep their promises but they're not afraid to have opinions. They’re all calming, critiquing, scolding, shouting over one another all at once, a cacophony of voices in his head and he can hardly stand it. 

“Are you alright?” she finally speaks up, careful to keep her voice calm and customer service friendly. He jumps like her words had administered an electric shock. Despite the busy train, he had forgotten anyone was there other than the near two dozen inside his head. 

They all turn their attention to her and the others have a thousand opinions of this strange girl. Barry critiques her the cut of dress, Jade wants to make friends, Hedwig thinks her hair is pretty, Dennis is captivated by the curves of her body. They all suggest a thousand responses to her and it’s a struggle to hear his own thoughts over theirs.

“Y-yeah, I’m fine, it’s fine.” He finally manages, nodding. 

“Are you sure? You’re hyperventilating, sweetheart.” He nearly chokes on his breath, trying to get back under control, to keep up appearances. 

“Yeah, really, I’m okay. Just jitters, it’s nothing.” His words are barely cognizant and he breathes a shuddering breath, putting is head between his legs, whispering for the others to _shut up, shut up, shut up._

“Here, honey, look at me, it’s okay.” She lowers her voice to a soft whisper, warm and soothing. It takes him a moment but he manages to look at her. She smiles and her eyes are kind. He can’t keep all the noise straight, all the voices blur and it’s so loud, a squabbling roar of sound and he doesn’t want to hear it anymore. All he can manage is to shake his head, cringing, rocking back and forth. 

“it’s okay, just breath now, just breath. Deep breath in.” she breathes in a deep breath and he tries to follow suit, desperate for any distraction. “Good, and out.” She breathes out and he mimics her again. “There we go, and again.” she praises softly walking him through the simple action of breathing over and over. “It’s okay, just listen to my voice, sweetheart, just breath. Everything is okay.” He slowly comes back into control, other voices finally quieting as his panic subsided. He manages to breathe again, gradually backing off the edge of an anxiety attack. 

“T-thank you.” His voice is still shaky, stuttering and he can’t help but blush beet red when he starts to fully realize that he nearly lost his mind in front of a complete stranger.

“No problem, are you feeling a bit better? I know that stuff is hard.” She keeps her voice soft. He tries to reinforce any calm he managed to hang onto. He’s an adult now, his mother can’t hurt him anymore and most importantly they won’t be in Boston for another 3 hours. He has 3 hours of sure safety before he has to see her. He remembers that she asked him a question and he finally collects himself enough to answer. 

“Yeah, I’m okay.”

“I’m glad, I’m Ana by the way.” She holds her hand out to shake and he can feel Dennis cringing at the thought of skin to skin contact with a stranger but he pushes down the thought with all the other intrusive thoughts and he takes her hand. He’s embarrassed about the red rawness of his hands, another result of Dennis’s obsessive cleanliness, but she doesn’t seem to notice or does an admirable job or pretending not to.

“Kevin, I’m Kevin.” it’s the first time that he’s been able to get a decent look at her without the haze of panic. She’s young, his age or younger with wavy hair cut bluntly at her shoulders. Her sundress is prim and proper with a high collar and practical shoes. She looks clean and Midwestern wholesome. 

“What a nice name.” She answers, smiling prettily. She folds her hands gracefully in her lap, looking every inch the well-bred young lady, taking great care to maintain straight-backed politeness and perfect calm. This politeness appears to include entirely ignoring their previous interactions and engaging only in muted small talk, a decision he’s more than grateful for. The last thing he needs is to go over his mental health history with a stranger on a train. Although, he does appreciate the distraction, any kind of external stimulus to distract from the chaos inside him. 

She pulls a zip-lock baggies from her bag. “Would you like some blackberries? I brought them from home but I have extra.” She sets the bag on the tray between them and he takes a few mechanically, mind fuzzy with exhaustion. 

“Thank you.” He recognizes in the drawing silence that it’s his turn to make conversation. “W-where are you headed?”

“I’m going up to Newport to visit my auntie. I’m originally from Raleigh.” She almost sounds self-conscious with how childish it sounds to be going to Newport to visit someone she still calls auntie. “You?” 

“I’m going to see my mother.” He tries to keep the grim tone from his voice but the sentence still sounds like a death sentence. The others are silent, they are always quieted by thoughts of their mother, more so by the thought that they are unstoppably rattling her way at 80 miles an hour. 

Her brows furrow and she nods solemnly as if his few words explained everything to her. 

“I see…” there’s a certain somber sympathy in her tone, reaching out to gently place her hand on his. “Good luck.” She continues with a small smile. Another flutter of foreign thoughts fill his mind in reaction to her touch, the loudest is Hedwig wondering if she would hug them if they asked. He would like a hug from her. 

“Thank you.” He answers softly, not daring to look at her directly, blushing deep red again. Her sympathy, blind though it is, is very kind. They lapse into silence again and she looks out the window, watching the countryside roll by and listening to the lullaby clatter of the wheels on the track. Glowing sunset light steams through the tinted window, illuminating them both in shining brightness. Her hand still rests gently on his and for the moment everything is serene. Some piece of old poetry floats back to his mind, _everything was beautiful and nothing hurt._

There’s a strange and sudden instinct for him to tell her everything, explain it all. This train car holds the same degree anonymity as the confessional, she’s a stranger, no one he would ever see again. But it would break this calm and there’s never any calm, it’s something important to preserve. He shuts his eyes instead, sleep is usually so elusive but in this moment, it’s easy to let exhaustion take over. 

He wakes up and its dark and he’s alone. It might as well have been a dream, no trace of her is left. The only thing left behind is emptiness.

Practical matters resurface in his mind, Barry is gently nudging for rational deliberation of what they’re going to be confronting in Boston, who they would be confronting in Boston. Dennis is in a panic over the state of their clothes, terribly wrinkled and everything here has got to be filthy, she’ll be so angry if she sees him like this. Hedwig wishes Ana had stayed. The conductors voice crackles loudly over the intercom. 

_“30 minutes to Boston, 30 minutes!”_ he can feel his breath quickening again, he’ll be there in 30 minutes. He’ll see his mother in 30 minutes. Jade tries to hush him but her voice is sharp, trying to comfort herself as much as she’s comforting him: it’s fine, we’re gonna be fine. His hands shake as he holds his head in his hands, he’s shaking all over. He can’t do this, he can’t, no luck in the world can save him. He feels himself spiraling back into panic, losing control. He can’t be here, he needs to get out, he can’t go back. He begs anyone else to take over, anyone, please. He can feel Barry finally giving in with a defeated sigh: _alright, fine…_

The world sweeps into merciful blackness and he’s gone, gone, gone.

**Author's Note:**

> I need to give credit to brainwavesoptional for the inspiration for this lil fic with their lovely piece Fade to Black! 
> 
> The title and summary for this are also so brutally bad that I would take any suggestions for improvement. Although, rest assured, I would take any suggestions for improvement! Critique is always appreciated!
> 
> Thanks for reading! :D


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